i should clarify about my doctor.

do you ever feel guilty for cutting ties with someone, or asking someone else to do something because you know they'd do it better [not that the other person isn't doing a bad job, but you know it can be better]...

that's me.  i feel that way a lot.  it usually involves work.  you feel a certain loyalty to someone.  especially if they've been referred to you.

that's sort of how i feel with my doctor. 

don't get me wrong.  i like her, i do.  she delivered the news of the miscarriage professionally [maybe not as empathetic as i would have liked, but i'm sure that's a hard spot].  i trusted her with my d&c.  i was in good hands.  she answered my questions and listened to my concerns.  she was concerned about my emotional state following the m/c [and by concerned, i mean...she inquired about it and was willing to talk].  she called me personally.

but could she do more?

call it irrational, but i just get this feeling like i need to stick with her because she knows my history...the whole back story...she knows the steps we've taken. 

does she?  or am i just a chart?  if that's the case...i could be someone else's chart.  and i might just end up loving them.  because, right now, i just like her.

...

.....let's see what thursday brings.  but, i'm pretty sure i'm in the market for a new doctor.