tomorrow is the big ultrasound.  the one when we could find out.
and while i don't necessarily want to...i think it will be really hard while we're there.  so close.
jake isn't budging.

so i thought it would be fun to go through the ol' wives tales out there and see what this m&m might be...according to...old wives.

1.  how you carry baby.  they say carrying high means girl and low means boy.  i've been told that i appear to be carrying low.  i feel like it's low...compared to some coworkers [who, are having boys...so who knows].  so, chalk this one up for boy, i suppose.

2.  sympathy weight.  this one is new to me, but it says that if your husband gains weight with you...girl.  and if not...boy.  welp...mr. menz has put on a few el bees (lbs.)  so, girl.

3.  heart rate.  although my doctor said there is absolutely no truth to this...they say that a heart rate over 140...means it's a girl.  m&m had a heart rate of 156 bpm at 14 weeks.  girl.

4.  cravings.  if you crave sweet, they predict girl.  salty or sour...boy.  i can't really pinpoint one or the other here, cause i do crave both.  so...it's a tossup for this one.

5.  the ol chinese gender predictor.  it asks for your age at conception and your month of conception.  what i just learned from reading this is that my month of conception is actually september, although i know when we conceived...october.  that is because it goes from the month of your last period.  so according to this one...boy.

6.  drano?  i didn't do this, but i had to share because it is o f f the w a l l.  pee in a cup.  mix in drano.  if it turns green = girl.  blue = boy.  who came up with this?

7.  even and odd.  legend has it that the Mayans determined a baby's sex by looking at the mother's age at conception and the year of conception. if both are even or odd, it's a girl. if one's even and one's odd, it's a boy.  27 and 2011.  girl.

8.  the key to the mystery.  a friend put a car key in front of me and had me pick it up.  she then said that if i picked it up by the narrow part, it would be a girl.  and if i picked it up by the rounded part, it would be a boy.  i grabbed the rounded end.  chalk it up to boy.

9.  stealing beauty.  they say girls steal their mother's beauty.  if you have been breaking out a lot, it means girl.  actually, i don't think my skin has looked better.  so, boy?

10.  ring on a string.  hang a ring on a string over your belly.  if it swings in a circle, boy.  back and forth, a girl.  mine went back and forth.  girl.

11.  queasy does it.  sicker than a dog...a girl.  not too bad, they say boy.  i only actually vomited twice.  as far as morning sickness goes, i'd say i had it pretty good.  boy.

so there ya go.  i'd say, according to the old wives, it's a ..... boy.  but, barely.  girl, 5.  boy, 6.

many have asked if i have a "feeling".  and the answer is no.  i lean more towards girl only because everyone and their brother...literally everyone i know...is having or had a boy.  [that is, except for my friend abbey over at life treasured who had enough girls for us all].  so the odds tell me girl.  maybe seeing m&m tomorrow will make me have a better "feeling".  and i certainly don't care either way.  i seriously just want the healthiest little munchkin ever. 

and, yes, i am late on my 18 week belly pick.  it will be up tomorrow.  :)  and i will share photos from the big ultrasound too.

prayers for good health tomorrow and eased nerves.



dear 16 year old me,

stop.  don't get your belly button pierced.

and p.s., put on a two piece and don't take it off until you're 23.

love me,



one person who sent us well wishes when we announced this pregnancy said, "good luck on this all consuming journey".  i didn't think much of it then, but consuming is exactly the right word.

and i don't just mean consuming food....and cake....and m&ms....and ice cream cones.

consuming in every sense of the word.

my thoughts are currently consumed by...
nursery ideas
my next appointment
worries and fears
boy or girl?
baby sitters
the delivery
car seats
girl or boy?
new car
middle names
feb 1
crib safety...
and i could just go on and on

and it's not just my thoughts.  also my actions.  my conversations.  my internet usage and my free time.

this has to be where pregnancy brain comes from.  the thoughts could just go on and on.  and then i feel a little movement and i'm reminded again that there's so much to think about...and in the middle of a therapy session, i'm no longer working on therapy but thinking about how i can't wait for those movements to become kicks and hiccups.  and somehow that triggers nursing and then all of the sudden, i'm thinking about breast pumps.  don't get me wrong.  i get my job done each day and i know i do a good job.  

 but i've decided, aside from work, i need to make a better effort to step outside of the ride for a few moments each day and make time for something or someone other than this or us.  call it a resolution.  a very late one.

but just real quick...a picture.  because, this week, i feel like a lot has changed.  the bump has grown [not to mention, changed shape?] and there's so much movement!!  but.  let me say.  the back pain has started.  the further my belly sticks out, the further my lower back curves in.  and this was actually the topic of my what to expect email this morning.  does this have a stopping point?!  i feel like it makes my rear-end look a little kardashian-ish, from the side.  this isn't very necessary as i do not lack in the trunk department.  notice below. 

sir mix a lot comes to mind.  17 weeks.
now, i'm going to go consume my dinner.  tonight, i just had to have baked beans. what the...




because it's the coolest feeling ever...

i had to share
that i have been feeling so much movement since my 16 week post.
all of the sudden, my bump grew ten fold
and i started to feel more frequent taps (aka quickening)
the coolest thing
it's always when i'm very still
typically when i'm lay with my feet up but my back propped
but today i felt it sitting in my chair at work
just a little "hello" to remind me everything's ok
usually it's on the right but today it was on the left
and, last night, one motion was so big that it actually startled me
so neat!
my doctor told me i would feel it somewhere around 19 weeks
but it also depended on the location of my placenta
she may have told me 19 weeks so i didn't fret if i wasn't feeling anything
understandable.  because i would.
but i'm definitely feeling things
which, i guess, means i have a more posterior placenta
yay for posterior placentas
isn't the body pretty neat-o?
i think so
it's so hard to believe a living thing is right down there
moving away
love it.
for visual people.  16 week fetus (anterior placenta)



"when the baby comes..."

if you know jake at all, you know that he is an avid outdoorsman.
hunting deer.
hunting duck.
hunting wabbits (i kid, kind of).
so, when he brought this conversation up last night, i had to laugh.

jake (in the shower): so, babe, when the baby comes....
me:  yes?
jake:  you know how i really love hunting and going to the country?
me:  yes, babe. [thinking...i know exactly where this is going]
jake:  well, and you know you and the baby will be my world, right?
me:  riiiiight....
jake:  but...i just...ya know...i think i still will really need my hunting time.  you know.  time away.  i think that's important too.  just like you need girl time.
me:  keep going...
jake:  like, if you want to take a girl's trip to nebraska.  i will be here with the baby and take that responsibility (lol), but i just want to be sure that i can still have my hunting time too.
me:  yes, jake.  [laughing] don't you worry.  i wouldn't take that from you.
jake:  well, i didn't think so, but...you know...

and then he was giddy like a school boy.

i don't know if you just had to be there, but it was a pretty cute conversation.  you could tell he didn't want to make me upset by asking, but he was ligitimately concerned ...yet still knew what my answer would be.

i think, with me starting to show...hearing the heartbeat...and all that good stuff, things are sinking in and starting to hit him.  and it's adorable.  and he just needed to know...if he'd still have guy time.   



16 weeks.

i didn't feel like this pic showed the enormity of that which i feel in my mid section.
so i tried a close-up.  better.
inanimate comparison:  the size of a large avacado.

maternity clothes?:  leggings, yes.  but i'm in the in between phase right now.  i have one pair of jeans left that button, but i use the rubber band trick or the bella band for the rest.  i wear a few maternity tops.  i love the long length!  question:  do the maternity pants with the elastic wasteband (not the full pannel) last you for the whole pregnancy?  wondering if they're worth my money.

cravings:  mcdonald's cones.  strawberry cake.  (see this post.  it is to die for).  also, other fruity treats...like, peach yogurt or blueberry cake doughnuts (must not buy these).

aversions:  i am friends with chicken again.  not just a slab of it, but cut up.  i tried caffeine in one of those store bought starbucks drinks and i did not like how it made me feel.

emotions:  nothing to complain about.

fatigue:  getting better.  it's to the point where i don't necessarily realize it during the day, but i will get home and just crash.  i have no trouble sleeping...until i get up for that first potty of the night.  then my mind starts a-racin'.

symptoms: lots of bathroom breaks, a little back pain and some shooting pains in my pelvis region.  nothing out of the ordinary.

weight gain:  3 lbs. 

what i miss:  lately...nothing.  :)

fears/concerns:  i'm anxious for our anatomy screening at 18.5 weeks (feb. 1).  the big ultrasound when we get to see m&m on the big screen for a while.  just hoping we have a healthy one.

highlight of the week:  ok, maybe i'm crazy but i swear i am feeling a little movement.  let me explain.  if i lay really still, i sometimes feel a fleeting little tap on the right sight of my lower belly.  right where my doc always finds the heartbeat.  it isn't often and certainly isn't strong, but i really don't think it's gas.



the name game.

lyndsay, lyndsay bo binzy banana fana fo finzy.

where do i start?  the name game...

picking a name for your little one...a name that, in many ways, defines them...makes a first impression...makes an impression before you even meet someone.

how do you do this?

so many factors.

take my name, for example.  lyndsay.  not your traditional spelling, but a popular name in the 80s when my parents chose it.  i was one of many "lindsays" growing up and actually had many friends who shared my name...albeit not the spelling.

then, there's jake's name.  or, more formally, jacob.  only the most popular baby boy name for many years...and still topping the charts.

let me go on...

i used to be in love with the name olivia.  in love.  i swore that was my name.  i also felt the same about aidan.  they were both a little unique...at the time.  now check it out.

top names in 2011.
now, there's every version of of aidan out there.  aidan, jayden, brayden, kaden, hayden... i think i have one of each on my current caseload (exaggeration).

i love the name owen.  but it is currently #51 on the charts...and projected to grow.  most popular, so far, in 2009.  plus, my neighbor has an owen. 

how do you pick a name?!!

speaking of my caseload.  then, we get into those names that i do have an affection for...however...how do i say this...i don't exactly have an affection for the children who hold those names.  because of confidentiality, i won't give you specifics.  ...like the 'elliot' who couldn't say his "r" sound and picked his nose and ate it in the third grade.  you get the picture.  and with 50ish kids on my caseload each year, not to mention kids who are just infamous around school...that cuts quite a few names.

then there's this.  menz is a real word (i.e. men's department, men's room).  i also have a thing with pairing other real words with menz.  like reid menz.  and my all time biggest bummer because i totally fell in love with the name: fischer.  fischer menz.
nope.  can't happen.
other factors:  the number of syllables.  i tend to venture toward one syllable names, but 'menz' is one syllable (e.g. liv.  liv menz).  ehhh...doesn't exactly roll off the tongue.  i like a few 'm' names but a first name with 'm' and a last name with 'm'...not sure.  many many names also have 's' and 'z' in them.  pairing that with 'menz', and throw in a kid with a frontal lisp...and you have a mess.  am i thinking too much??  yes.

then jake sent me this article:  what your child's name says about you.  which is an interesting read, actually.  the author discusses exactly what your top name picks say about your personality:

unusual | crave spotlight (e.g. blue ivy)
old fashioned | conservative (e.g. henry)
creative spelling | dare to be different (e.g. zowie...or lyndsay)
family name | sentimental (e.g. ellington...jake's middle name and the middle name of his great grandfather, roscoe)
pop culture name | looking for a confidence boost (e.g. lennon)
after a destination | adventurous (e.g. egypt)
unisex | you focus on success (e.g. kelly, mason, jordan)

i'd have to say, after reading this article, that we fall in the sentimental/focus on success categories.  which i'm okay with.

so on that note: i will share the names that are currently on top for us, that dodge many of bullets i stated above.  not popular and certainly not in the top ten.  not incredibly unusual, but a little unique.  no crazy spellings.  no odd associations.  ...but don't even ask me about middle names.

fine print: the reason we're ok with sharing is because we're not finding out the sex, so either way it's a surprise.  and i know this opens the opinion floodgates, but maybe keep negative ones in your head  ;)

{girls} drew, parker, sawyer, rowan, adler
{boys} brooks, bennett, ellington [eli], owen

and there they are.  but, chances are...none of those will be on the list next week.  hmmppfff.



snow day!

yippee!  i really was like a nine year old when i got the call from my school district this morning, letting me know that school was canceled due to inclement weather.  unfortunately, jake had already gotten up for work and the fans were off, lights were on and i was up and at 'em.

the midwest was hit with a storm, but we didn't even get much snow.  maybe just over an inch.  but i guess that combined with the dropping temps and wind made for a sticky commute because it took jake over 2 hours to get to work just 25 minutes away.

so what am i doing, you ask?  on my first snow day of the season???

took my time making breakfast.

brewed some decaf coffee for the first time in i don't know how long...only to decide it just wasn't what i wanted quite yet.  drank chocolate milk instead.

tried to watch the today show, which i love.  nothing but storm and commute coverage on any news channel.  ended up watching ellen on dvr.

looked up the trendiness of some baby names.

read some blogs.


did some research on a good but reasonable starter slr camera...input anyone?  i have no desire to be a photographer, i just want to be able to snap nice pictures of the mini menz in a flash!

i follow this blog.  and she has me freaked thinking.  researched the use of the angel monitor.  or any other kind of breathing monitor.  i follow this blog.  ...or there's the snuza baby movement monitor.


did my biggest loser jillian dvd.  i hate jillian.  she causes pain.  good pain.  sometimes i just mute her to shut her up though.

my friend, tricia, who's also preggers, came up with the perfect nickname for the baby.  since i sometimes call "it" mini menz...m&m!  perfect!  and quite fitting since i crave peanut m&ms.

ate lunch.

ate some of this cake, that i had been obsessing over since i saw a pin for strawberry cookies on pinterest.  this is a weight watchers recipe.  beyond easy.  one box of cake mix.  one diet soda.  bake it per box instructions.  that's it.  add lite whipped topping.  it is the best cake.  my fav.  i picked strawberry cake mix with sprite zero.  you can do many combos of this cake.  lemon and sprite.  chocolate and diet wild cherry.  spice cake and diet a&w.  so good!  and sort of guilt free!

did laundry.

read more blogs.

read the help.

and now...i'm waiting for jake to get home safe.



nightstand reads.

 from top:

happiest baby on the block | harvey karp, md
recommended and purchased for me by my sister.in.law.  karp calls it "the new way to calm crying".  i've only read the forward so far, but i'm liking it.  excited to read on, but i realized i could probably put it off to a little further down the road.

baby bargains | denise and alan fields
a must have.  recommended by my friend, katie.  i purchased this the first time i was pregnant.  everyone who has read it has sworn by it and followed it pretty closely.  the fields, who are consumer advocates, explain deals, bargains, wastes of money, scams and good/better/best products.  i've purchased the ninth edition, and that was back in april/may '11.  double check to see if there is a newer edition because info is changing often.  i purchased mine on amazon.

the help | kathryn stockett
a great movie and, i've been told, an even better book.  recommended by everyone and their sister (and borrowed from mine), i started to read this on my trip back from new york and i pick it up between baby reading.  funny note:  it is written with the same grammar as the southern maids who narrate some of the chapters and i find myself sounding like a 1960s maid in the deep south, in my head.

what to expect... | heidi murkoff
a pregnancy staple.  obviously.  pregnancy milestones, week by week.  and lots of other good info. about any question or concern you might have.  this book has saved my doctor from many questions.  a slow read now because i've read every page except any weekly information.  mine is the 4th edition.

100,000 plus baby names | bruce lansky
lists and lists and lists of names.  sixth ranked boys name in 1910 - george.  most popular girls name in chile - constanza.  most popular boys name in north dakota - carter.  law and order characters.  reality tv personalities.  herbs and spices - basil?  basil menz.  star kids names - pilot inspektor - son of jason lee.  you get my point.  this book gives me a little headache reading all of the lists and i'm not sure i've gotten many names out of it.  most of them, i've heard somewhere else.  i will share our naming woes in a post pretty soon, and possibly share some prospects.  we are nowhere near a consensus....but there's time.



feed me!

maybe it's because i can't chill out with a glass of wine or a beer after work, but i've been borderline obsessing over certain things lately.  cravings, i suppose.

beach club.  i had to.  i just had to.

must be peanut.

150 calories.  not the worst.  i savor it.
and i can not get enough water.  but that means more bathroom trips.



whoosh. whoosh. whoosh.

i can breathe a little easier.
and sleep a little better.
14.5 weeks and a healthy little heart beat.
156 bpm to be exact.
and just when the doc would find it,
we'd hear another little whoosh and off the bean went!
a little mover.
and we learned today that movement builds their nervous system.
next up...the big ultrasound.  feb. 1st.
but, nope, still not finding out.
and neither will our doc.  so there will be no slip ups.
i can't wait for the day we will know!



think positive.

glass half full.
look on the bright side.
don't worry.  be happy.
be optimistic.
dwell in hope.  not worry.

here comes the anxiety leading up to every appointment.
i know we're guided by forces much greater than luck, but....cross your fingers for tomorrow.  
i hope i sleep.



14 weeks

how far along:  14 weeks 1 day

it seems bigger in person.

inanimate comparison:  the size of a lemon or your clinched fist

maternity clothes?:  i've only tried leggings and mainly because i couldn't stand how my regular leggings cut my stomach off.

cravings:  i've been digging chocolate milk and eating a lot of pickles, but i do really like pickles any way. 

aversions:  chicken is dead to me right now.  and coffee.  i love coffee.  but not now.

emotions:  snippy if i don't eat.  blubbery if i'm up too late.  and, today, i about cried at wal-mart because they didn't have one single ripe avocado.

fatigue:  traveling to ny took it out of me, but i think the fatigue is getting better.  but, ask me again after this week back at work.  hmmpff.

symptoms:  aside from peeing a ton and feeling like someone is shocking my nipples...i feel good.  i must eat every 1.5-2 hours.  i have an occasional headache, but i'm not complaining.  i will take it all and then some!!

what i miss:  i miss iced tea, but i've slowly been having a bit here and there.  i really miss subs (jimmy johns and goodcents).  i'm not sure about that whole no lunch meat thing, but i'm not risking anything.  did any of you avoid it?  i do not miss drinking, although, now and then...a cold beer looks good.

fears/concerns:  i'm anxious for our appointment thursday.  psyching myself out that something may have happened between our last appointment and now.  i really do feel optimistic, but i think anyone would have that fear.

highlight of the week:  realizing that i was getting a bump.  it seriously popped out over night and i think i was in some kind of denial.  i kept telling my sister, "that was already there".  no.  it wasn't.  another highlight would be jake telling me that the tiny bump was cute.  because i was feeling a little large, at that moment.

i'm thinking one of these posts every two weeks.  each week might be overkill.



emma on babies.

when emma found out there was a baby in my belly during our trip, she had some interesting things to say.  she was hilarious the first time around and then we tried to get her on tape and she was a little shy about it but gave some great insight.

click here. (i couldn't get it to embed)
babies get in through your throat
and come out your belly button
they stay in there for ten minutes
she was two pounds, but my baby will be ten
it will be a boy or girl
named santa baby.
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