changing lanes.

i wasn't very good at changing lanes when i learned to drive.
mostly, i think i was just scared.
looking in my side-view mirrors, i could see just about everything.
but there's always that blind spot.
and my dad would get on me because when i'd turn my head to check it, 
my steering wheel often went with it.
but then i'd bite the bullet and just do it.
safe, in the next lane.
and i'd think...that wasn't so bad...i could do it again...
and suddenly, it became second nature.

tomorrow, i'm changing lanes.
but this is the type of lane change when you find yourself in the far left lane
of a four lane interstate...and you need to exit right in 1/2 a mile.
going from being a full-time mom to a full-time therapist and full-time mom.
i never thought october would get here.
and, tonight, i'm convinced there isn't anything that sucks more
although i know it's so not true.
so i'm going to focus on the good.
i'm thankful for a healthy baby girl, a job i love and the amazing sitter i can call my friend.

i think i've packed everything she needs.
i think we're ready for the change.
17 weeks together is an amazing maternity leave.
but i'm a little nervous about that blind spot.
what if something happens?  what if she just won't nap?
what if i miss her rolling over?
just going to have to bite the bullet
and get this first day under my belt.
until we're safe, in the next lane.
when i'm sure i will say, "that wasn't so bad".
...and i can do it again.



  1. oh those first days were so hard! I'll be praying for an easy transition. One good idea-make your sitter promise that she wont mention any new milestones until after you tell her you saw them. I hated the idea of missing a "first" and it was better to just not know. For me at least.

  2. Ahhh, I know exactly how you feel. I did it myself about a month ago. It is definitely an adjustment but it DOES get better and you will be safe in the next lane in no time. I just keep telling myself it makes me a better mother to have my job and provide for my family. I remember the night before was the worst though - hoping your transition is easy! And there will be nothing like picking your little lady up and seeing what a great big smile she gets when she sees you!

  3. Hope your first day back is great...and Drew has a great first day too!


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