and so...

it begins.  things are underway and...we wait.

now, if i could just time warp.

and, yes...i realize that i've sort of dug myself into  a hole as far as the sharing of information goes.  and yes, i do realize this is a public blog and certain followers may expect certain information.  the hubs and i have had some in depth discussions about how much to share on the blog as far as "progress" goes.  because of our history with the miscarriage, we've decided it's best for our hopes and the hopes of those close to us [and any blog readers who care], that we wouldn't be sharing any news until we felt that we were in the clear [which, for me, could be like 9 months.  i kid].  so...for that reason, i may be fairly vague so as to not give news away either way.  i hope this makes sense and we hope you understand.


 

doc talk

so last week was my q and a with my doc.  i'm going to do my best to try to interpret her answers.  please note that i do not practice obstetrics and/or gynecology.

i've done a good job of charting.

but my charts perplexed her.

based on my temps compared to my LH surge, something is amiss.

she isn't convinced that i'm actually ovulating...

although i do have an LH surge.  [ehhhh....]

she's not seeing a definitive spike, rather a gradual increase

...and only after i start prometrium for that cycle.

or it's possible that i am, but my eggs are "weak".

weak eggs?  ok.

so it is possible to have an LH surge and not ovulate.

then there was something about the follicle...

which eventually becomes the corpus luteum [thanks kaitlin]...

which, then, has a hand in progesterone production...i think

we've concluded i'm progesterone deficient.

so this means i don't actually ovulate.

or that thing about the "weak eggs".

so, from here...

if i don't start...celebrations and a careful eye.

if i do...big bummer...but.

she'd like me to begin clomid

and i think come in for ultrasounds to keep an eye on ovulation.

there was so much information it's all blending together.

because i took my time and asked my questions

and she was as patient as can be.

and very easy to talk to.

and i trust her.

and so that's the plan.  i guess, i just have this thing about not being able to do this on my own right now.  or possibly not being able to do it on my own [or our own].  it's sort of the very thing that defines a lady. 

i feel a little broken.  like something is terribly wrong.  hopefully, it can be fixed.

cross.  your.  fingers.   and anything else that can be crossed.